Frank Evans' Achievement Guide For Like-Minded Dumbasses

I’ve been curious about how to get some of the achievements, but the descriptions for most of them are vague and otherwise unhelpful, and if you are barely code-literate like I am, trying to figure out how to achieve them through github can be a pain in the ass, so I am making this guide for some of those achievements and translating that code into something more digestible, now in a table format because it would be described as “swagger” (it is).

Do be aware that not all achievements are solo endeavors, many require the input of other people to actually pull them off, and others can very well cause unintended harm if you try to go for it specifically, so be mindful of everyone else!

If there are others that still don’t seem obvious or if you are able to correct me on details, please let me know! Happy Achievement Hunting!

Table Guide

Example Achievement

Achievable? (Is it easy/straightforward enough?):
Restrictions (humanoids are default for this):
Potential risks/consequences (some are antag specific so I won’t go into detail about their specific risks):
Confidence (in translation from code):
Description (how to achieve it, more or less):

Name Achievable? Restrictions Risks Confidence Description/Guide
Hot Damn! I don’t know? None Depends on how you do it Further reading of the code and practicing it has not given expected results, so very unsure Slam a table with a slap command, sounds easy but it really isn’t, the easiest I can think of is becoming a hulk and slapping a table, also lawyers with attorney badges (or those with attorney badges, still unsure) can slam with a slap too, there is also a way to do it with cowboy boots, but I sure as hell don’t know
Soul’d Out Not very likely A Cult/Wizard antagonist (not you!) is required to get it You will be stuck in a goddamn toolbox, with little if any chance of doing anything after Uncertain You will need to be captured in a soulstone, then, someone must somehow force your soul into a toolbox
Ascension Yes, but difficult A Traitor Chaplain is the only one who can buy the item needed You get eaten by an evil toolbox god if you fail Certain Feed 25 people to “His Grace”, a traitor chaplain exclusive item, without him eating you
HA, GOTTEM Yes, probably harder than it sounds though None You might piss off the person you do it to, better hope they don’t already want you dead! Certain Successfully Bop someone after having them look at you when you have a circled hand
Rule 8 Yes None You will have sinned. Pretty sure Just keep smashing two plushies together, they will kiss, then get married, then [REDACTED] and produce a child plush
Long Shift Don’t count on it, dude You need a moderator/admin to be online at least Anything you were working on will be instantly erased Certain Be in a round when a moderator/admin forces a shift to end early
Look out, sir! Yes None You will explode and die Certain Die by being on top of a pellet grenade when it explodes
A Bowl-d New World Not that likely None You die of OXY loss Certain Have someone give you swirlies until you die
One Lean, Mean, Cleaning Machine Either very possible or very unlikely A cleanbot, possibly a knife, and the captain and every head of staff other than QM Possible killer machine running loose with no heads, and potential death or ID loss as a head or cap Very Uncertain Bear witness to a cleanbot that has all the leader IDs, how it gets to that point I am unsure, it could murder them through using an attached knife, or it could just be given
I was a Teenage Anarchist Yes None Death Somewhat sure Get killed by a falling vending machine (Not a “sentient” one), best achieved by hitting one real hard (I know this because I got this achievement by getting flung into a vending machine)
The Best Driver Yes Only Traitor Clowns can summon (and only clowns can use) the required item Someone could carbomb you Certain Get 100 Thanks from passengers while driving in a clown car
Round and Full Considering Fulpstation’s standard of highpop, not likely 30 other people, traitor clown to summon the item, any clown to pilot it Carbombing More or less certain Have 30 other people with you in a clown car you are controlling
My Watchlist Status is not Important Yes None You ping security and medical upon getting this, better hope you aren’t an antag while you do this Certain Simply kill crewmembers in Orion Trail until this procs
Disk, Please! Highly unlikely You need to be a Nukie, and you will need a rocket launcher You might not even get the chance, and even if you do, you could very easily blow yourself up Certain As a Nukie, using a rocket launcher, hold someone with the disk at gunpoint (an actual mechanic, not figuratively)
Very Important Piscis Uncertain about the details, but plausible Nuclear operatives only, specifically with access to Cayenne (nukie carp) No extra risks outside of maybe Cayenne dying Details seem foggy, but I’m pretty sure Have Cayenne grab the fukken disk, somehow (she is able to hold it, but how you go about doing that I don’t know), and retrieve it from her
Tram Surfer Not likely considering most maps There needs to at least be tram rails on the map, and you need something to grind on them Injury or even death Certain Land a grind on a Tram rail
Clickbait Yes A traitor needs to use a tablet bomb and you need to be a recipient Potential loss of PDA, ID, and injury, possibly even death Certain Respond to a spam message on a PDA [A DEAL SO GOOD IT WILL [forcefully remove] YOUR MIND!]
God’s Wrath Yes Two Bibles are needed This will result in extreme misfortune upon you for the first half and GIBBING for the second half Certain Burn TWO bibles
A Nasty Fall Bro I have never even seen the event that this is tied to, so unlikely Have an earthquake event hit the station Gibbing Certain Get swallowed up by a chasm during an earthquake event
Unhealthy Snacks Plausible, but lengthy It is a lot you need to eat, so make sure you either have proper preparations and space it out accordingly Addiction, potential problems with overeating and overdose, also depends on what is IN the cigarettes Certain Eat five hundred cigarettes (unknown if cigars and candy cigarettes count)
You’re What You Eat Likely Space Dragon only No extra ones that I am aware of Pretty sure Eat 30(?) fish (unknown if Space Carp counts) as a Space Dragon
Time Waster Yeah right like that’s ever gonna happen Somehow end up in the super secret room and also be able to last a very long time doing nothing You will be there for a VERY long time Certain Speak to the strange tile in the super secret room a minimum of 5643 times, in a row, without leaving. It’s a dirty bubble challenge
Theoretical Limits Good luck actually pulling this off SM access, and the SM must be ACTUALLY delaminating (possibly even about to CASCADE) and you must either be foolish or really brave All the risks that come with being next to a VERY pissed off supermatter engine Not entirely sure about the details Somehow stop the sm from delaminating (possibly during a cascade delamination) during the 30 second delamination timer
Helbitaljanken Very unlikely, relies purely on luck and circumstance None Dusting, and curses Certain Successfully win a game of rock paper scissors with death if you are lucky enough to have the opportunity occur while having helbital in your system during crit
Frenching Yes None Nothing extra outside of fighting Bubblegum Certain Smack Bubblegum with a tongue
Feat of Strength Unlikely Immovable rod event must occur, RD can do it with no extra work, others might need to work out a significant amount (do not take my word for it though) You could get hit by the rod and die Not too sure about some details but otherwise confident Successfully suplex the immovable rod
Kill me Possible but the details are foggy None You become a snail person, whether that is good or bad is up to you Outside of how to get it to happen, confident Get infected with the Gastrolisis disease, somehow
Centcomm Grades Yes None None Certain Successfully finish a round with a certain amount of income from tourists: 1-2000 is Shitty, 2001-4999 is Acceptable, and 5000+ is Exemplary
In Flanders’ Fields Plausible Lots of people need to die, buddy Best hope that whatever is causing this much death for you to witness doesn’t end up killing you Almost certain Get a 90% resistance to death moodlets by witnessing many humanoid deaths
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