How to Die Responsibly

Just because you choose the easy way out doesn’t mean you can be lazy. Here are some things you can do when suiciding in order to help your fellow spacemen who still have the will to go on.

  1. Ecologically Conscious Disposal
    You create lag. Your body still creates lag. This “lag pollution” will harm your fellow spaceman. Additionally, your body lying around may result in some nasty diseases infecting your fellow spaceman. Although this might give the virologist something to do, nobody will thank you for it. These reasons all point to one simple solution-cremation. It is your moral responsibility to the rest of the spacemen to make sure that you REALLY aren’t bothering them anymore once you are dead.
  2. Your Inheritance
    Take a look in your bag. It’s probably filled to the brim with random trash and maybe even some useful items you looted off a slipped officer or found in maint. Now look at your fellow spacemen. They are poor, starving, in need of help. Don’t you want to help them? Well, seeing as you won’t be needing the items anymore, who better to bring Christmas early than you? Make sure to leave your items somewhere public so the masses can loot it as easily as possible before your death.

So, if you are going to meet a timely death, make sure to plan it accordingly, as we are all on the same space station :).

6 Likes

Thank you very much! Could you do a guide on how to kill others responsibly next?

7 Likes

10/10 I like to have this guide open on my other monitor when I play space game, has been a heap of help.

The Medical wrench approves this guide.

:) um w

instructions unclear accidentally died irresponsibly

better way, offer yourself to the chef as lunch meat. truly give back to the station when you die.

Whoops, now clown has my geneticist ID…

instructions unclear, fork ejected out of ass