Kirie's Secret Medical Techniques

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Incoming transmission has been decrypted. the contents are as followed.

This is Dr. Kirie Vonel-Saito of Drekar Station, Jupiter Artificial Satellite 083.
If you are reading this, I’ve passed away, I am no more.
The cloning pods at my home station have been destroyed.
This is a dead man’s switch has activated.
Enclosed within this transmission is some of my most advanced techniques for savvy NT and syndicate doctors alike.

The contents of this advanced guide are as follows:
Interesting Finds
Cryo Shenanigans
Medical “Malpractice”
How I learned to stop giving a fuck and love the amputation shears.

Ok, let’s start with some of the more interesting and yet mundane things that I have found in my many, many shifts as Chief Medical Officer.

First and Foremost, All natural organs regenerate at a rate of 2 points per minute.

Now Cryo, oh how I’ve loved you.
First thing’s first, Put Seiver in your Cryo. All the time. Also make sure that it’s set to 120K.
Cryo takes air in PRESSURE not MOLES. If you aren’t familiar with atmospherics, don’t worry too much about this
Cryo does Heal ALL Wounds, no matter how severe. And don’t be afraid to ask the CE or atmospherics for extra air cans. They don’t mind.

IF you get permission from the Captain, and assistance from the RD, you can get slime jelly.
And oh boy, does things kick off from here.
I recommend doing the following:

Swap the Cryoxadone for Pyroxadone.
Change the cooler for a heater set to 480K
Get the CE to assist in making extra cryotubes.

From here on out, you have something special, something unique. you have Pyrotubes.
Air is no longer an issue.
You can heal everyone in these chambers, as long as you have enough of them.

And if, IF, you get a lot of assistance from the CE, and some especially good and bored atmos techs, you can request Healium gas, which heals people FASTER in cryo.
You have become, a god of cryo.

So, you want to learn some questionable medical practices? Indulge me for a second.

Reviving below the damage limit gives suffocation damage. So, if you accidentally heal them too much, just beat up the corpse a bit before reviving. They won’t have any suffocation damage if you revive them damaged enough, after all, Haha.

On the topic of medically beating someone to death, it is often useful to kill someone who’s overdosing on drugs so you can clear their system before reviving them just be sure that you get their permission to fucking kill them first.

Finally, HARS. My colleague and good friend, Dr. Marissa Way has given me a little tip about HARS. It does, technically, destroy the brain. So destroying the brain, and then recovering it by healing the HARS can actually cure them of all brain trauma.
I am just sad I never got to test this before my passing.

Oh, The amputation shears. My favourite tool in the station.

You can use it to very, very quickly transfer brains from body to body, and this is nice. However, let me tell you a story about my time working for CSN

A soldier crawled into my office, blabbering about getting fired upon. He was in critical condition, and had multiple bullet wounds to his arm.
I heard gunshots outside, and I had to act fast.
So I closed the shears around his arm. He got back up, and gunned those assholes without an issue.
If someone has one really badly damaged limb, and it’s an emergency, chop it off. You can always put it back on later.

And finally… Dr. Saito’s special surgery.
This is a surgery I’ve designed and I’ve held close to me for a long, long time.

So, the subject must have MASSIVE Damage. Above 400 total damage.
The Steps are as follows:
Step 1: Have someone else tend wounds
Step 2: Shear off all their limbs
Step 3: Revive as soon as possible
Step 4: Medicate the patient and dismiss the second doctor (Optional).
If step 4 was skipped, have them continue to tend wounds.
Step 5: Replace the Limbs

This surgery is not in any way ethical, but it is very nice to keep in case of emergency, and allows them to give them talk with you while you finish the surgery. It is also faster, because you can use medicines while you fix them back up, and allows two people to work on a single, very, very, dead person.

I’ve been a doctor for so many shifts, It’s all numb to me, as of time of writing. I don’t remember any of it. I don’t remember a single shift.
All I remember is a blur of bodies.
I’ve lost all my memories of working as a CMO.
All I have left are my hands that move on their own.
I’ve done every surgery. I’ve healed every person.
I don’t even flinch at death anymore, I can so easily fix it.
I’ve lose my past, but I’ve kept my skills.

So I’ll leave you with these parting words.
Death is only a brief pause.
If you learn well, heed my words, then you can bring people back from almost any death.

I never thought I’d die forever.
To my wife, forgive me.
To my mentors, Dr. Way and Dr. Swarner, I hope I’ve made you proud.
To my students, please live long and learn much.
To all aspiring doctors, paramedics, and even just normal personnel:
Please. Cherish your lives. Never become numb to death.



This post is talking about tricks on current fulp that wont work when we update, as well as things we’ll only be getting when we update. Confusing to read, but still good nonetheless.

Fuuuck I should have clarified which ones do and don’t work.
Which ones stopped working?

This doesnt work on latest /tg/, but works on fulp currently. Healium is also not on fulp yet