Need some good conspiracy theory ideas to ramble about drunkenly.
Is John willard actually a hive mind of frogs in a skin suit here to feed off our collective misery?!? I heard him ribbit once!
Does command secretly hoard all the hotdogs to feed to a cosmic horror they keep locked in maintenance?!?!
Is sore yews hair actually made from all the squirrels she tortured and killed as a child?!?! She smells of walnuts and has a dead look in her eyes!