Is This you?
Do you wish your kitchen would look like this?
Well you’ve come to the right place!
New Friend in town!
Before we start, There’s been a new feature added, It’s called the griddle.
Now this is where you cook all your meat related items, Like steaks, meatballs, meat patties, sausages,
cutlets, bacon, pancakes and others!
Basics of Cooking:
Firstly, we’ll start off with the basics.
When you first start off, go to the Dinnerwave Vendor, and pick yourself up a knife.
Another Incredibly useful tool you can Purchase yourself is a Serving Tray. It’s purpose is to carry Up to 7 food items in one place, for quick transport. Like putting your Sliced dough into the Microwave! Instead of putting them one by one, just use a tray and put them in all at once! you can manually load the items onto the tray, or the better way, to click the item(-s) with the tray.(this will pick up all the items on that tile, so make sure it only has the things you want to pick up/Some items are too big to carry in it)
Now that you’ve equipped yourself, you will find a few lockers full of ingredients, locate the one which has flour bags in it.
Now to make dough, you will have to mix 15Units flour + 10Units water.(Each flour bag contains 30Units)
It’s most comfortable to use a beaker to mix in, but you can do it in the bag, or any other container that can hold a decent amount.
Now hold the flour bag in your hand, and click on the Beaker/Container you wish to mix in, and add 15Units.
After that, locate your local sink, and click the sink with your mixing container
(The Sink will give by default 5Units water, unless you change the container’s Transfer amount). 
You have now made dough. Now put it into the microwave, and turn it on! Voilà! You have made Bread!
Now you can either slice the bread, serve it, make sandwiches out of the slices, or make another type of bread, Or you could take a step back And Instead of putting the dough into the microwave, you could roll the dough with a rolling pin into a flat dough, put it into the microwave and make Pizza bread, or Slice
The Flat dough for Dough slices, which can be turned into burger buns! And Remember, you can click onto the Bread,Slices/Pizza/Burger Buns/Cake and some others, with random ingredients to make custom food, Which leaves a lot of room for creativity, but tends to not look appetizing, discouraging crew members from eating it.
Cheese:
You can also make Cheese, By Adding 40Units milk and 5u Universal enzyme from the Green bottle. Now you’ve made Cheese, which has more than a few uses. Don’t forget to slice it! Oh and the Universal enzymes don’t disappear so you can re-use them!
If You make a mistake, and put too much of something into the beaker, you can Select Harm Intent, and spill it out by clicking on the floor, but this is wasteful. Instead you can go to your CondiMaster Neo,
put the Container in there and separate the Ingredients that way.
But this is only the Beginning!
Breakfast: The first 15 minutes of the shift, are Breakfast minutes.
That means if you eat any breakfast foods in these 15 minutes, you will be awarded with a mood boost which lasts 10 minutes.
Breakfast Food is as goes:
Most Egg based foods
Coffee
Bacon
Oatmeal
Orange Juice
Milk
Pancakes
Waffles
Donuts
Toasts
Biscuits
Cereal
More Advanced Cooking:
Now you might be wondering, how do i turn this sweet bread/pizza patty/burger bun into something more, Appealing? You should start by locating the crafting menu with the blue hammer icon. 
Once you click it, a menu like this will pop up!
Now you might be a bit confused, so navigate to your food of choice, Like Breads/Burgers/Sandwiches And see how you can turn This:
To This!:
Pastries:
Or perhaps you’d like to go with the Sweeter route, and make some Pastries.
By adding 15Units flour, 15u Egg Yolk(1 egg is 5u)/Soy Milk, 5u Sugar. I personally recommend using soy milk instead
since it’s easier to acquire and there’s plenty of it, not being used.
Mix it all in a beaker, and you’ve just made yourself Cake Batter.
It works very similarly to Dough, in which you can leave it as is, Roll it, Roll then slice.
If put into the microwave after mixing, will make a cake, if rolled then microwaved, will make a pie dough, or sliced, which will make Pastry bases.
Now pop them in the Microwave, and Bam!
For Reference, with enough ingredients, you can turn those, into this:
You can find more of what you can do with this, in the crafting menu.
Pancakes:
If you wish to make Pancakes, you have to make pancake batter. The recipe is as follows:
12u Egg Yolk(3eggs) + 10u Milk + 5u Flour. The result is 15u Pancake batter.
Now that you have your pancake batter, you have to splash the batter onto the griddle(more on the griddle later), and it’ll make goopy pancakes(5u per pancake).
Cook them and you’ll have pancakes! They’re stackable too!
If you wish to give food to the Crew in record time, you can take an egg carton from one of the fridges, dump them out by dragging the container onto the table/ground, grabbing salt and pepper, which are usually on the table, if not around, you can buy some from the Dinnerware Vendor. Go into the crafting menu and find Egg-based foods and make fried eggs.
Note that there are many many Recipes, Which you can find in the Crafting menu, or at: Guide to food and drinks - /tg/station 13 Wiki
So get out there and discover! (Some Recipes are not on the Wiki, so have fun finding them!)
Now you might say, that you know how to make food, that you are ready to become the best Chef out there!
Not so fast, while you now know how to cook, you will soon find out, that there’s only so much to cook with, here, ill show you how to get more ingredients!
Let’s start with Vegetables, as you might already know, a lot of recipes require them. You start out with a box full of a random themed Ingredients, which won’t last you long, but are a good start nonetheless.
Now you can ask Botany to grow you some ingredients to cook with, but you’ll soon find out you run out of flour. I shall introduce you to the almighty Biogenerator.
The Biogenerator:
This machine will be your Second best friend when Cooking, First spot is quite obviously taken by your Friend, Pete.
The Biogenerator can produce Flour,Milk,Soy Milk,Cream,Universal Enzyme,Monkey cubes, And other things, that are not quite important to us.
Just make sure to put in a beaker, and select what you’d like to pour in!
This machine however, doesn’t dispense everything for free. You will need Vegetables from botany, which have to be put into the machine, then activated, which grinds the Veggies into Biomass.
Now you don’t have to rely on this machine to make EVERYTHING. You can Grind Wheat, but it gives such a small amount of flour, that you’re better off Using Biomass.
You can get Milk by using a container on Pete, which will give you Milk. Pete hangs out in the freezer room, Who is friendly, but will get grumpy if you attack or provoke him, by staying too long near him.
While He might attack you, he is not a threat,and his attacks barely scratch you, so don’t kill him, He’s the best friend you can make on the station! If He does get grumpy, just do what i do! Put him in timeout. Make him follow you into a fridge(Or drag), and close it on him, Or Put him in the Windoor.
If you’re still not sold, Pete’s a perfect lawnmower! See those Space vines making their way across the station? Just Use Pete! Drag him or just push him through the space vines and he will eat them instantly! Now isn’t that just the best?
Along with Pete, you will find a fridge with 4-5 Meat Steaks inside. While this is great for a start, you will run out as quick as you get it.
Everything MEAT:
To make a steak, you put raw meat onto the griddle, and it turns into a steak, if you instead wish to make meatballs, pop it into the Food Processor, then griddle, For cutlets you have to use a knife on the steak, and for bacon, you have to put the cutlets into a food processor, then to cook, put onto the griddle.
If you wish to make burgers, you have to make meatballs, then roll them, for Burger patties.
(STEAK NO LONGER WORKS FOR BURGERS!)
To Get more meat you have a lot of choices. More Notably you could kill and butcher monkeys. Before i continue on meat, i will teach you about Butchering, Using the meat hooks, and Using the Gibber.
Nobody likes a Chef that kills strangers and Gibs them, So Make sure, if you plan to use Human Meat to cook, that the body’s soul has departed((By Inspecting, Shift + Left Click)(Unless of course you are An Antagonist, Who has That Person as a target)
Example of a Soul-departed Body:
Gibber:
So to use the gibber, the Corpse has to be completely stripped of any items on them, Headset included! Then Grab their Dead body passively, and click on the gibber with Grab(Yellow) intent.
Did you just accidentally put in a body?! Do not worry! It’s not the end of things, as you can empty the gibber by right clicking it, and clicking “empty gibber”!
An unupgraded Gibber Yields a piece of Meat and one Skin, from a human, and 1 Meat, from a Monkey.
Butchering:
To butcher corpses you need them dead, and use Harm intent with a sharp object(Keep in mind, that you cannot butcher Human corpses, if you need the organs you have to rely on surgery, or brute force bashing them out of their bodies, which usually is time consuming and requires a strong enough weapon).
Did you know, that you can use most sharp objects as a knife? Like a glass shard! Yes! you can use a glass shard to cook! If your friends have gotten the knives first, you can resort to such techniques. But if you butcher corpses keep in mind, that the better the tool, the more meat/hide it yields. so If you use a glass shard, you’ll only get a minimum amount of meat, and ruin a space bear’s Pelt, But if you use
a knife or Butcher’s Cleaver, you won’t ruin the pelt, and even get more meat! If you butcher a monkey with a Glass shard, you only get 2 Pieces of meat, While using a Kitchen knife, you get 5!(The Butcher cleaver doesn’t yield more meat, but is a stronger weapon, which is only acquirable from hacking the Dinnerware Machine) Also remember to go on help intent after you’re done fighting, to not block anyone.
Meat Hook:
The meat hook is the same story as the Gibber, you grab passively, and click on the Meat hook with Grab(Yellow) Intent. The Meat hook doesn’t serve much purpose Cooking wise, but is great at keeping your targets still. It takes a while to Resist off of the Meat hook, and you can use it to hold a monkey still.
(Make sure to butcher Monkeys in the back room and not in the kitchen, Not only does the kitchen stay clean and beautiful, you also don’t give a bad image for yourself.)
Now that that’s out of the way, we can return to meat and ways to acquire it. The most notable, is butchering, While it’s great for meat, It tends to leave a bloody mess. If you wish to avoid spreading blood, take your shoes off before walking outside of the Freezer, you can then wash the Shoes off at a sink.
You can also wash your clothes at a sink, by targeting your torso and clicking on the sink with help intent.
There’s also a few other less bloody methods to make meat.
Synthetic Meat:
Synth Meat for short. To make it, you need a chemical known as Cryoxadone. When injecting 5u of blood into a container with Cryoxadone, it will use up 1u cryoxadone and make 1 Synthmeat, you can get blood from yourself,(if not An Ethereal/Plasmaman) Or you can get blood from a monkey (If you intend to use your blood, make sure to not overdo it, Or you will find yourself dying of Blood-loss.)
You can ask The chemists for it, Just make sure to ask nicely, and not steal it from the Cryo Zone, unless given permission.
Mouse Reproduction:
Another Method, and probably my favorite that I have discovered, would be Using Mice. Yes you can turn mice into normal meat by butchering them.
To start reproducing them, you will firstly need a live one. You can try asking a Janitor to get you one from maintenance.(Depends on the Janitor, and if there are any mice around.) to pick up a live mouse, you have to grab it passively with Grab(Yellow) Intent and then drag the mouse onto yourself.
After you’ve acquired a live mouse, Drop Cheese wedges next to/under it, and it will start reproducing. Then just kill them and butcher them. Make sure to leave one alive if you intend to keep reproducing them. (You can make a lot of cheese thanks to the Biogenerator.)
If you don’t like Blood and guts, you can always ask Botany to grow Meatwheat, which is a Plant Mutation of Wheat. Remember to crush it, otherwise it won’t work. To make a steak, crush it and put it onto the Griddle. If you wish, to instead make meatballs, crush it and put it into the Food Processor.
Of course you can always ask Cargo for supplies. A food crate is a good start(Which has a reasonable amount of ingredients for the price, but not much) although they are almost always stingy with their money, making it very situational.
Or if you just want to Grill.
All-In-One Grinder:
Now this here machine will let you Grind/Juice/Mix
If you wish to make juice of some Ingredients, Fruits or veggies, you can do just that(Beware that some things don’t make juice)
You can also Grind, which is pretty self explanatory, Like grind Wheat for flour,
Food into Nutrient/Vitamin/Protein…
Mixing doesn’t have that many uses, but one of note is Mixing Milk into Butter
(15Units of milk makes one bar of Butter) (The Mix option doesn’t appear, unless only reagents are inside)
Ice Cream:
There are also a few other machines you can use around your kitchen, Like the Ice Cream Vat!
To use it, you must select a flavor(You can do custom flavors by adding Reagents with a beaker)
And dispensing Ice cream cones, then clicking on the Machine with them.
Food Cart:
The Food Cart is really useful for moving large quantities of food, must pick up the item and click with it on the Food cart to put them in, when you want to take them out, just click on the cart and select which food to dispense. (Works with Serving trays)
The Deep fryer:
The Deep fryer fries items as the name implies. you can deep-fry a whole lot of things, and it makes them useless. Like deep frying a gun, it won’t shoot anymore, losing it’s uses. If an item is fried, it becomes edible and a human will enjoy it, while the other races dislike it. That is because humans and only humans
like deep fried foods/items. Personally i don’t see much use in the deep fryer apart from removing items
or people. Another use for the Deep fryer is to aggressively grab someone, then dunk them into the Fryer by clicking on it. Does a lot of Burn Damage, but runs out of cooking oil very quick.
Race Specific Foods:
A Good Chef also knows what food to offer to different races.
Moths - Moths like clothing, Vegetables, Dairy. They Dislike fruit and HATE Meat, Raw and cooked.
Lizards - Lizards enjoy Meat, of any sorts, can be mice, can be organs, they’ll eat it.
They however dislike Grains and Dairy so they can’t eat stuff made from Flour, and the likes, limiting them
to Meat, and some others, like eggs!
Ethereals - Ethereals can eat Electricity containing foods. Like Electricity bars from vending machines, but they can also eat a few cooked recipes, Which include Electron soup and Empowered burgers.
Flypeople - Flypeople can derive nutrition from almost anything, but they prefer food, that others wouldn’t.
Close Quarters Cooking:
Now this more or less Covers cooking, but did you know, a chef fights not with his knife, but with his fists? That’s right, The Chef’s are trained in the Martial art called “Close Quarters Cooking”, Or CQC for short.
It is incredibly strong, but you can only use it in the kitchen and freezer.
You can use it to take down Intruders, but make sure to not hurt your fellow Chefs, or people who aren’t causing you any harm.
The Moves go as follows:
Slam: Grab Harm. Slam opponent into the ground, knocking them down.
CQC Kick: Harm Harm. Knocks opponent away. Knocks out stunned or knocked down opponents.
Restrain: Grab Grab. Locks opponents into a restraining position, disarm to knock them out with a chokehold.
Pressure: Disarm Grab. Decent stamina damage.
Consecutive CQC: Disarm Disarm Harm. Mainly offensive move, huge damage and decent stamina damage.
In addition to this, you also have a Defense mode, which works when you have Throw mode on.
This Martial art, if mastered can end fights with one click. It also makes you Grab aggressively, skipping the passive one,(The Aggressive Grab makes the opponent drop their weapon on the ground)
If You instead use Push(Blue)Intent you will strike your opponent in the jaw, take their weapon from their hand into your own, Completely disarming your opponent with one click.(Only works if they have the Arm selected, which holds the weapon)
Cleaning up:
No one likes a dirty kitchen. So you may be wondering, what can one do about a dirty kitchen? Well, you could try finding the very limited amount of soap that spawns around the map, which is most likely taken by the wanna-be-clown Assistant, who wants to slip people with it, or you could call a Janitor to clean your mess up for you, If they’re compliant enough, this is usually the go to solution, But when these two don’t work, You’re not left With Many options, But what if i told you, i have discovered a way, to MAKE your own? To make soap you will need 10Units Liquid Gibs, which you can scoop up with a container from the Monkey you freshly Butchered, and 10Units Lye, which you will have to acquire from a chemist, who might not always comply, so make sure to always ask nicely!
Now that you have both the Ingredients In A Beaker, Proceed to Heat the beaker, by clicking on the beaker with one of the Following: A lit match/lighter/igniter/welding tool or the Energy sword that you totally didn’t
buy because you’re a Syndicate Agent! And Bam, Now you have Homemade soap which you can use to clean your kitchen!
Remember to clean up! Blood and guts create Miasma, which will make you sick.
THE DAMP RAG NOW CLEANS BLOOD TOO!
If this all sounds Confusing, try cooking for a few rounds, and re-reading this, it’ll start making more sense when you understand more.
If you see any mistakes that need fixing, let me know.
Now get out there and make some Damn fine Food!
Enjoy!
